To UNC and Back, The End of a Dream

decided to apply to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill as a transfer student in anticipation of receiving a lung transplant at Duke University Hospital. In January of 2015 I had just finished up my third semester of college, and each one I struggled more than the last to get by health wise. Over winter break I had been hospitalized for about a week with trouble breathing, at that moment I realized I couldn’t continue on through college using oxygen. I wasn’t about to waste the best four years of my life using oxygen. At that point I had already been on the lung transplant list for eighteen months, when I was originally listed I was told the wait would be between six and twelve months. In fact, when I was first listed my doctors believed I didn’t have much more than a year left to live if I did not receive my transplant, shocker Zack defied odds once again. Anyway, in January 2015 I decided that I couldn’t wait much longer for a transplant, and after eighteen months of waiting, I didn’t have much hope that it would happen in New York. I decided to live at home and commute three times a week to Marist for my forth semester of college, at this point I was so sick that I really couldn’t live on my own. The plan was immediately following the end of that semester I would move down to Durham, North Carolina and be placed on the lung transplant list at Duke. They have a very good program at Duke, and on average do more than double the amount of transplants in a year than Columbia, in New York City.

My plan was to completely reinvent myself, I wanted to leave my old life behind and get a fresh start after the transplant. I love New York, and I love my friends at Marist, but it’s not very often you can press the restart button on life, and that is something I was very excited for. I applied in January 2015 (prior to my transplant), below is the essay I wrote as part of my application to UNC. The prompt was: “You were just invited to speak at the White House. Write your speech.” In my essay I talked about the importance of organ donors, while also doing my best to explain my life situation. I have never shared this with anyone outside my family before, and while it is very deep none of it is exaggerated:

"It has been eighteen months, and I worry I might die. I have needed new lungs for a while now; I was officially listed for lung transplant a year and a half ago. Cystic Fibrosis is a chronic progressive lung disease that deprived me from living my teenage years to their fullest. I put up with hours of treatment, and hundreds of pills each week not to make me better, but to prevent my condition from deteriorating further. I have required the use of oxygen around-the-clock for nearly two years now. The toughest part is the constant wondering of what people think when they see a nineteen-year-old with tubes in his nose and, an oxygen tank on his back. Some think I try to do more than I can handle, I am a full-time college student, keep up with all my treatments, and am actively listed for lung transplant. However, those thoughts are erased once they get to know me. At no time have I ever let my disease define me. Although, sometimes it may hold me back, I never stop fighting.

My dreams and aspirations are simple, I want to run, I want to jump, I want to walk a golf course, I want to ice-skate again, and I know soon I am going to accomplish all this. Achieving these goals is not where I will stop, it is simply taking back what was stolen from me. My long-term goals include graduating college, finding a job in my field of interest, and creating a life and family for myself. Currently the only thing that stands in my way is the wait. Picturing all of the opportunities I will have post-transplant is what keeps me motivated, and patient during this time.

Not just me, but others need help. Patients waiting for transplants must be strong, courageous and resilient. Sometimes the clock will expire before a patient is given the chance at a new life. This is what needs to end. Speaking on this stage allows me to reach out and ask for help. We need more organ donors. I believe in others, in their ability to help people like myself make their dreams come true.

I know in my life the battle with my health will never end. Even post-transplant I must stick to a strict regimen, and deal with the possibility of complications. What I do know is I will never give up."

I believe sharing my story through this powerful essay is one of the main reasons I was accepted into UNC. I certainly didn’t have the grades for it, but I believe I represent the high character UNC looks for in their student body.

University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill is the only school I applied to as a transfer student. It had been a dream school of mine from a young age, and I felt if I were going to leave Marist this would be the only other school I wanted to go to.

I recovered from my transplant much quicker than I ever expected, and returned home at the end of September 2015. I spent much of my time at Marist during the fall semester while preparing to start school at UNC in the spring.

I knew it would be tough to make friends at first, because UNC does not typically allow transfers to start during the spring semester. This meant I would begin school without an orientation giving me the opportunity to make friends. Once I started my fear came true, the first week or so I didn’t make any friends. I ate all my meals alone, and wouldn’t really leave my room outside of going to class. I would tell friends and family back home how miserable I was, and thought that maybe my dream school wasn’t for me. However, I was determined to keep trying. I decided to join a fraternity (ZBT) and from that point things started to turn around for me. I finally started to feel like I had a place in Chapel Hill.

Unfortunately, my time at UNC came to a screeching halt not to long after it started. It was around late February, just six-weeks into the semester that I started feeling to sick to attend class. Just a couple weeks after that I was returning home to New York, knowing I would likely never return to Chapel Hill as a student.

I made the decision to leave UNC based on one major factor, insurance. Many colleges and university across the country (including Marist) offer tuition insurance. This program will grant you a full refund in the event you must take a leave from school due to medical issues. Unfortunately, UNC does not offer any such program like this. This is something I knew entering the spring semester, but felt like I was invincible after doing so well after my transplant. I wasn’t worried about getting sick, I wanted to start fresh far, far away from hospitals.

After a long battle with UNC I was able to get a little less than half my tuition back from this past semester, while earning zero academic credits. If I were to stay at UNC it would take me five more semesters until I could graduate, it is just to high of a risk for me to take attending school for that long without a safety net like tuition insurance. I am hopeful that my battle of cancer is the last hiccup in a long battle with my health, but I am thinking far more consciously now. I am, and always will be at an increased risk for certain medical complications due to my transplant. I continue to do everything that is asked of me, and hope for a long healthy life.

I know I always have a family at Marist, and am not upset about returning. However, I felt that my time at UNC could have been the start of something special. Either way I am forever grateful fro the friendships that I made in the short time I was there. I am confident some of those friendships will last a lifetime, and I know I will always have a home in Chapel Hill.

I am very excited to be returning to Chapel Hill next week for the first time since my cancer diagnosis. It should be a great time catching up with some old friends.